FootPrints

Oh my darling little lady. Mommy had a very productive yet up and down kind of a day. I have several blog posts started on different subjects, but I haven't made them public yet. I want to tell you how today went first.

One of my friends very recently had a baby, and as I was looking at her pictures online of her hospital stay, I noticed she had such a cute picture of her baby's footprints in pink ink! I loved it, but it made me sad at the same time. We did not get your foot or hand prints when you were born. There was no time to worry about that little detail. I know that it was necessary to move quickly after you were born, but I feel like I missed out on so much. It has been bugging me lately so today I decided to take a trip to the hospital where you were born. I asked the nurses if there was any way that they would have gotten your prints. They checked for me, but there were no prints. Mommy was so disappointed. I know I looked like I was going to cry, but the nurses were all so nice about it. They sent me home with a bag of supplies so I could get your hand and footprints tonight at home. So that is what we did! They aren't your newborn prints, but they are better than nothing baby! The nurses had given me a "keepsake birth certificate" on the day that you were born, but just left the place where your footprints should go blank so we added your three month footprints to that tonight. We also didn't know your length until your were four days old. Again, there just wasn't any time to measure you. We are lucky we even knew your weight! Mommy and daddy also went and got your actual birth certificate today so you are now official :)

It makes mommy sad to think about how much we didn't get to experience. I know I should just be thankful that you are alive, but I had such a vision in my head of how things were going to go after you were born. I wanted to be this glowing new mother who everyone congratulated for having this beautiful new baby. I was certainly not glowing and it was not a congratulating type of a situation. Everyone just looked at me with sadness in their eyes. It was not a happy time for anyone. I wish I had been able to see my parents reaction the first time that they got to see you together. I wish so badly that you and mommy had had that special bonding time as soon as you were born. I dream that with our next one we will get to experience those things and more. It is going to take mommy awhile before I feel up for going through that experience again. I already know that I will be paranoid about EVERYTHING with my next pregnancy and delivery.

We did get some very good news today. A third party company has agreed to work with our doctors office and insurance company to get us some help with your special formula. The company will get a script from the doctors office and will make sure that insurance pays for the formula since it is a medical necessity that you are on it. Then we will receive all the formula we need month by month and it will be delivered right to our door! This is amazing news baby girl! Mommy has been very stressed about money lately and this will be a huge help. You have been WAY more expensive than mommy and daddy were expecting because of all the issues that we have had. We were not expecting to have you on any formula at all or have you go through so many diapers a day when your tummy was hurting so bad. Finances have definitely been a big worry for us these past few months, but things are looking up now. We have great family and friends who have helped us out tremendously with buying us diapers, wipes, formula, clothes or just giving us money to help out since you were born. A great friend of mommy's even drove all the way to Indy to take your newborn pictures for us! We are so lucky to have such amazing people in our lives who love you very much.

Mommy is trying her best to get everything taken care of this week because I start working full time Monday. Yes, a full time job baby! Mommy is so excited yet so torn at the same time. I wish beyond anything that I was able to stay home with you every day, but we are not in a financial position to do that at this time. I hope by the time we are ready for you to have a sibling, mommy can stay home with both of you. At least we found a great home day care for you to be at. I know you have a lot of fun there and that makes mommy feel less stressed when I'm away from you. For now I need to go get things ready for work in the morning, but I just wanted to remind you that mommy loves you always and forever!