Baby Food

Well sweetie I haven't written an update in far too long. You had your 4 month visit at the doctors last Monday and of course it did not go exactly how I expected. Nothing with you has so far, and I think I just need to get it in my head that nothing with you ever will. I need to start expecting the unexpected with you. That way I won't keep getting my hopes up.

At your official 3 month visit (I say official because we have been to the doctor so many times its hard to keep track of exactly which visit I'm talking about) your weight had gone up to the almost the 50th percentile because we had finally gotten some control over your food allergies. So you were about average for your age at that time and that made me feel so hopeful because we've had so many issues with your allergies and weight. On Monday we learned that your weight has dropped back down to the 20th percentile for your age :( This is frustrating and confusing for mommy. So mommy has made a tough decision this week. Once we can get you on a more balanced diet with your formula, some baby cereal, and some fruit and veggie baby food I am going to stop breastfeeding. So I will still be pumping for at least another month, but the end is in sight. It makes me feel relieved and yet so very guilty at the same time. Obviously what we are doing right now isn't working for either one of us darling so mommy needs to do what is best for the both of us. I know that some of our readers will be surprised at the decision I have made, but I feel like I fought a good fight and now I need to accept defeat. Please don't think that I made this decision without weighing my options. There is only so much I can put my baby and myself through before I need to re-evaluate her feeding situation. I tried my hardest and made so many changes to my diet and lifestyle, and I'm honestly very proud of myself for sticking to this for as long as I did.

So now lets talk about baby food. We finally found a brand of packaged rice and oatmeal baby cereal that you can eat! Almost all packaged baby cereals have soy in them, but a brand called Beech Nut (http://www.beechnut.com) makes their rice and oatmeal cereals dairy and soy free! So if you have a baby with food allergies or know someone who does, please suggest this brand to them. A lot of their foods are soy free, dairy free, gluten free and/or vegetarian. It is more expensive of course, but well worth it if it gives you an option for food for your baby. I thought for sure that we were going to have to make all of your baby cereal from scratch at home. I started looking a few weeks ago at our normal grocery store places for things that you could eat and I was so discouraged because I hadn't found any options. There is one Kroger in the area that has a great allergy section. It is two whole rows of foods that are mostly gluten free, but they have a lot of soy free and dairy free options too. This is where I get a lot of my food these days, but we have to make a special trip to this Kroger so I decided to take a look at their baby food selections while we were there last week. I was so excited to find something you can eat! We tried the rice cereal last night and you were not a big fan of the texture! It was funny to see you try a "solid" food. Hopefully soon we can introduce your baby oatmeal and single fruit and veggie options. We have to introduce new foods very slowly to make sure that your tummy can handle them. I hope as long as we keep dairy and soy out of your diet for now, we won't see any more allergic reactions from you.

The doctor did discuss trying to get some soy back in your diet at around 6 months just to see how you would react to it. If that went well, we could try dairy some time after that. Children can start outgrowing their childhood allergies as early as 6 months, but usually it takes longer than that. I'm really hesitant to introduce dairy back into your diet until you are at least a year old I think. I'm open to trying soy before that, but I just don't want to rush the dairy side of things. You are still at such a low weight that I don't want to chance you not being able to gain weight again due to allergic reactions.

So at your 4 month well visit, the doctor wasn't as concerned about your weight because you've always been low weight. She was very concerned about the size of your head, though. You have always had a big head. Your daddy has a big head and your uncle Alex has a big head so you get it from both sides. Your body had been growing proportionately, though, until this last visit. Your head had always been in the 70th percentile range for your age. Well Monday we learned that it has jumped up to the 95th percentile! This is not good. So your weight for your age is at the 20th percentile, but your head is in the 95th percentile. I'm not sure how you can hold your head up child. We had to set-up another doctor's appointment on February 12 just so that the doctor can take a closer look at your head. If she feels like it is still continuing to grow at the rate that is had from 3-4 months, she is going to have you get a CT scan. The concern here is that you might have swelling of the brain or too much fluid around your brain. This news made mommy scared. Thank goodness for other mommies writing blogs out there because I turn to them anytime we get scary news about your health. It is comforting to know that other moms out there have gone through the things that we have. So of course I Google and blog searched for babies with big heads and found out that in most cases things end up okay. My fingers are crossed for you baby! I keep telling telling myself that we can't take anymore discouraging news yet we still keep hearing it. One of these days we will go in for a doctors visit and hear good news I just know it. Or maybe that's just a dream of mine. Again, I need to start expecting the unexpected with you so then I won't be let down.

I do want to say a few things about these "well" visits at the doctors office. When I was calling around to other pediatricians offices to get a second opinion on you in December, it became very clear to me that you are not considered a "well" baby. I guess I knew this in my own mind, but to have someone else actually say it to you kind of makes the realization sink in. There are a lot of pediatricians out there who only deal with "well" children. These are the kids who come in for their scheduled visits and shots and maybe occasionally if they get a cold, but other than that don't have any other health issues. I guess we are lucky that we got into our doctors office when you were only four days old because I was denied by almost every other pediatricians office for a second opinion because you are not a "well" baby. I understand why they do this. Pediatricians are busy and most do not have time for hour long office visits and that is how long ours last most of the time because there is always something that comes up at these visits. Its just kind of sad for mommy that you are labeled that way right now.

Well dear I should get off of here. I am glad that you are feeling better after last week's shots. You are back to being my smiley, cuddle-bug baby. Just know that I love you always and forever and want what is best for you my darling baby girl.